Phone ringing.
Hello, Amos here.
Hi Amos. Orla (Ola) recommended you for a job that just opened up. And we need someone very urgently. Can you help please as we need a 3rd cover for tonight.
Yes. Why not? I am available!
Do you have a licence covering...(I interrupted her)
I can drive anything. I have a licence.
Alright. Do you have a pen there to take down this address?
Yes...hit me...
She laughed.
(3 hrs later....I got to a huge construction site by M25 south circular and was ushered into a container-like office)
Thank you Amos for coming. You are our saviour. We pay weekly, is that okay with you?
Perfect.
Can you quickly fill out these forms and you can start immediately.
(After 20 mins or so, forms completed. She rang someone on the phone - the night shift supervisor).
He walked in...dumped some orange visibility vest on me with a helmet....and also a huge bunch of keys...I started panicking.
I followed him out as he beckoned. We jumped in a huge brand new high-powered Jeep.
He drove for a bit all in the same area but very massive land. We pulled up by a huge construction truck.
He looked at me....’that’s yours...get in and follow me to where you will be working the shift with others!
I stammered. My fear came true. Errrm...sorry. I am not getting down. I can’t drive that monster. Let’s go back. Sorry.
May Day May Day. Cheryl are you still in the cabin...over? He hollered over the radio.
Yes. About leaving. What is the problem...over.
He got out of the Jeep fuming furiously. He was looking at me and shouting in the radio.
Me...as long as he didn’t beat me. All he must do was to return me to the cabin and I will disappear.
At the cabin...Cheryl angry. Too late to get a replacement. They were heavily short staffed.
Amos...you said you could drive HGV....
No....(shaking my head)...I heard ‘Drive a Jeep’ and I said I can drive anything...as in any Jeep!
Drive a Jeep....HGV....why would I ask if you could drive a Jeep?
If I had heard you say a monster truck like that, I wouldn’t be here Cheryl.
She asked me to excuse them for a minute as she went into argument with the supervisor again.
I was called in again...
Alright, we have a huge situation tonight....we are already 11 men short on the shift and we can’t lose you that we thought will help us.
Okay....I calmed down.
Did you say you can drive a Jeep?
Yes. As long as it is a 4 wheel vehicle....car or minibus....
Okay. This Jeep is unique....not a regular civilian jeep....
Ok. Fine by me.
Dan, give him the utility car and put him through.
Dan drove me to a shed and brought out the coolest all terrains jeep. New. It had SUPERVISOR painted on the door.
He quickly showed my the tricks with all the multiple gears and how to drive and engage them.
I was young so I learnt quickly. It was as if I had had it for years. But honestly, it is so Drive-friendly that a boy of 6 can drive it.
I drove the Jeep after him to another large area of the construction site. It was all darkness and they have not started work their yet.
Yes Amos...that’s your territory. Just drive the car round every 2 hours and give a call report that you have done your hourly patrol. Bring the car back 6am tomorrow.
You mean just to patrol? Where do I park?
He looked at me....it’s your car...it is your land. You have almost 10 miles to patrol every 2 hours. Do whatever you want.
Ok.
And don’t come to the other side as you have caused us to have more work to do tonight. The boys will not be happy to see you.
But...this place....is dark.....I will be here alone...
Don’t worry...I will bring you dinner at 10. That’s when we take delivery...pizza of course.
This will be boring...
That’s what you are getting 10 quid an hour for mate. Make it exciting! Sleep if you can. Just call us every 2 hours to confirm you security call that you are ok. You only run away from this place when you see anything strange.
Alright. Anything strange like what?
Lion....I am kidding. Fox. Rodents...may be tiger...I am kidding. Nothing. Just sleep and drive round. 10 miles altogether.
Ok.
He left. After 20 mins....I became James Bond Agent Soma.
I PUSHEEEEEED THE CAR TO THE LIMIT OF ITS LIFE IN MY VERY FIRST NIGHT.
No hill, no mound like 3 storeys high, no swamp, no mud, no bush...nothing could stop this monster truck jeep.
A click of a button changes the gear to suit the terrain I drove into. I galloped and screeched with the car. I had a blast of time.....until I tumbled and flipped down a huge mound of red soil crying ‘Jesus’.
Fortunately, it was like the back of a cat that will never hit ground in Yoruba parlance. I landed the car on the wheels and for about 5 mins I was ‘thank you Jesus’.
I became a good boy and decided to behave.
When my dinner arrived, the guy couldn’t believe what happened to the car. He looked around wondering if there had been a dedicated earthquake on my side.
He shook his head and asked me to bring it to the site vehicle washing centre before the day shift guys show up in the morning.
I set my alarms for 2 hourly reminder and went to sleep. I believed I was not coming back the next day so I decided to enjoy my £10 per hour James Bond Soma stunts.
In the morning, I quickly washed the car with the help of other guys who could not stop staring at what happened to the supervisor’s truck that all of them only dreamed of driving. No scratch on that monster car after wash!
I left and hoped I would at least get my wage for that day.
11am...my phone rang again....it was Cheryl.
Amos....do you want to come tonight again?
Really? Same darkness patrol job?
Yes. (She laughed)...same darkness patrol job...£10 per hour!
Alright. I will be back and more ready.
Great. Bring a novel...laptop for movies or anything to keep you busy in the car.
Perfect....thanks.
And no flipping of the car today. Jesus may not be willing to help this time. By the way, your voice is not bad. Those were church songs yeah?
Whaaaat? Who told you all these?
It has a tracker and all these recording techs in it. That’s why it is a supervisor’s car. All your movements inside and outside are logged.
Yeeeeh....
You said what?
Nothing.
Ok. You are ok for now. Just be careful. You had fun yesterday, start your work today.
Thanks Cheryl.
Bye Amos.
I sighed. Worked there for the next 3 months before I disappeared for another daylight job as it became too boring knowing fully well somebody may be listening or may want to listen....
One of my best adventures nonetheless. By the way...I flipped the car in my 3rd or 4th week or so. I dared and climbed a mound steeper than the car was programmed.
The other guys brought a mini crane to flip me back on my wheels. They understood it was boredom that pushed me to crazy stunts...and Cheryl didn’t mention but she did give me a wink to say she saw it when I resumed the next day.
Many times...the black Thanos in us can be nice and cheeky and lucky.
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