Diary of Pst Hemoc.
In the kitchen yesterday, while waiting for dinner....me and wifey started recapping....we started with 2 Sundays ago.
2 Sundays I goofed.
I addressed a sister while preaching. I thought she was a first timer. She turned to be our one and only Dr Lizzy. Imagine Oyakhilome thinking Sinach is a first timer!
Me: May God help me...I goof a lot. What is wrong with me and facial recognition?
(Wifey did not spare me)
(Wifey did not spare me)
Wifey: ‘Oh, you don’t know? You goof a lot. You are goofy. But they are innocent ‘goofs’.
Me: Hmmm, I know. They are innocent goofs.
Wifey: Same way you embarrassingly welcomed Dr Chidinma our praise worship leader on Sunday as a first timer on Tuesday bible study!
Me: Oh puh...lease...don’t remind me of that super bloop joor.
Wifey: Don’t worry, they know you are poor with facial recognition.
Me: Hmmm....(Now thinking....that’s definitely one reason I cannot cheat! I won’t be easily recognising the lady I want to cheat with).
Truth is, I find it very embarrassing. I have once thought a brother was a visiting Pastor Japhet!
I have once told a lady to wait her turn for counselling as I already got someone on an urgent appointment. You need to see my face when she said she was the one that just hijacked me 3 minutes earlier for an urgent meeting.
Many times I forget things....but the moment I am activated, everything comes back.
If you don’t keep track on me, I will just carry on as if nothing was planned.
But to be honest, what I carry in my mind make me forget everything else.
When I have a message to deliver, I am so consumed in my mind with it thinking of what illustration, background story, timeline, purpose and context to deliver it in. So when I am talking, It is the word that want to come out next that I want to hear.
Many times, I may be looking at people in front of me but I am not seeing them. And when I try to recalibrate my sense of environment, I just probably call out wrong name for the wrong face. Hahahahaha.
Anyways, as long as they know the voice speaking through me, I don’t mind.
But as long as this Hemoc remains this goofish, he is safe and ‘uncloneable’. No man can go to my house pretending to be me. They will find out fast.
Even my daughter knows I goof. I posted an 8th birthday message for her on FB and family WhatsApp back in April, she told her mum that it seems daddy doesn’t know she is 9 already. I quickly corrected it....after almost 80 people have wished her well.
Thank God nobody probably noticed when I quickly changed it.
But the only area they won’t find goofs with me......my library.
Don’t say things I can pull a book out on and show you factual records on....history.....I hardly goof on that. Yeee...that’s a plus.
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