SISTER PHILOMENA


Today, I remember the day I followed a brother to go and see sister Philomena at 9pm in her father’s house.

I should have been wary when Bros said we should take the rear access rather than the front.
We entered the compound through the back gate.NEPA was at their glorious best...no power!

Who is there? A husky manly voice boomed out in the dark.

It’s me sir...brother Gbenga and TOS. We are looking for sis Philomena.

At this ungodly hour? Looking for my daughter?....Wait for Philomena... (Then we heard the cocking sound of a dane gun)

The booming sound of a gunshot went up in the air...

The man: Philomenaaaaaaa

I was frozen on the spot for what looked like eternity.

The luminous eyes galloping towards my direction defrosted me. The eyes were somehow at the same gazing level with me.

I turned to grab brother Gbenga....he was already out of sight! I heard the jamming sound of the gate slammed in my face.

Brother Gbenga just left me behind.

I then instantly remembered that Asaba was just a stone throw from Onitsha where they usually roast criminals!

And just like Arya in GOT....’death....it is not today’.....I ran with closed eyes trying to remember one dog called suzzie on my street in my growing days. If I could escape suzzie’s chase.....may be.....may be I could escape this one too....

Wait....the man called ‘Philomena’....and it was a dog with something like green eyes that answered....
I ran like it was my last moment on earth.

Then suddenly I stopped....

Can’t remember how long I had ran that race of life! I was far away from Nnebisi Road! I was heading towards Ogbogonogo Road. No dog...or should I say no Philomena!

Wait...what about the fence???

Till now, as I type this piece, I still can’t remember whether I ran through the wall....or jump the fence...or crash through the gate.

What I know is that I can’t remember opening that heavy foot gate you have to push hard to open. I didn’t see bro Gbenga until 2 or 3 days after. We never talked about the incident. And we are yet to speak till date. It was a silent gentlemen agreement communicated through the soul and spirit world to keep away from each other.

This is the 2nd time in my life I will be talking about this year 2000 incident in Asaba. So Bros Gbenga, if you are reading...I have forgiven you for leaving me behind after almost leading me to death.

And by the way dear ladies, if you know you don’t like a bros that is toasting you or will not leave you alone, you don’t have to give the Bros the name of your dog and ask him to come at the time you know your pop and his dog will be enjoying the cool of the night at the back of the house.

It is well to the ‘brosses’ that are sincerely looking for ladies. May you never be led into the trap of sis doggy Philomena.


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